I just finished The Count of Monte Cristo on PBS, but I haven’t read the book. From what Wikipedia says, there are dramatic changes. The novel is over 1000 pages, and I found it a little tedious—the 20 pages I read. The graphic for this post reflects the idea of hope which is, in fact, the message that Edmond Dantés (the Count) receives from the priest who befriends him in prison. It balances the other one: “If you seek revenge, dig your own grave first.” The action of the novel shows the results of his actively seeking revenge from the guilty by depriving them of hope.
If Dantès shows us what happens when hope is stripped away, the conversations I heard this week pointed in the opposite direction—how it might be restored. Twice this week, I had the opportunity to hear Governor Spencer Cox of Utah and his wife, Abby. The state has a good reputation for its laws on non-discrimination and religious freedom. They were the first to institute 988 as a universal hotline for suicide prevention. Gov. Cox was the first candidate to sponsor a joint ad with his opponent in which they agree to accept results of the election. It’s a minute worth watching.
The work of Robert Putnam figured in their remarks, as did that of Jonathan Haidt. Bowling Alone and The Anxious Child were the two most quoted works. And Marcus Aurelius, Blaise Pascal (sort of—the idea of a “God-shaped” hole in our hearts.) Finally, Yuval Levin, especially his last two books, A Time to Build and American Covenant.
The takeaways are more cogent and doable than one might think for a politician. Charismatic but not superficial, challenging but not impossible. Cox’s initiative as chair of the governor’s association is called Disagree Better. It’s now a nonprofit with ideas and outreach. He isn’t saying not to disagree. Indeed, he says disagree more. Just leave out the hate.
- A sense of community has been lost but can be found. Read Putnam.
- Children are in serious danger. Read Haidt.
- Reaching across the aisle, standing up against hate, and finding better ways to disagree will take effort. Talking about “those people” and hating the haters are two behaviors to avoid. Read Cox. His Off Ramp: How to be a Peacemaker in an Age of Contempt comes out in September.
- Don’t worry about changing the world. Help your neighbor. Hate flees service to others. Change your town.
- The pendulum is beginning to swing from the me/I to the we. And we can help that effort.
Spencer Cox and his wife are 50. I remember when that sounded old. Now, I think he should run for president. I told him so. Does he want to? No. Neither does his wife. Watch the video. There’s something in his eyes, and it’s rather beautiful. I didn’t tell him that.