Month: September 2025

Have you ever been sitting in an audience listening happily to a speaker you already admire when they say something to which you silently respond, “Uh oh”? Last Wednesday, Sharon Eubank was in Dallas. I hesitate to say “promoting her new book Doing Small Things with Great Love” because that’s not entirely accurate. She was co-speaker with Azhar Azeez for the DFW World Affairs Council’s Bill and Barbara Benac Human Dignity and Fairness for All Lecture.

Each gave a brief statement (hers with pictures because she said she can’t talk without them) and then sat for an interview on global issues before taking questions from the audience. It’s been a challenging time for NGOs and nonprofits. Funds have been cut, sometimes suddenly, and everyday humanitarians and religious organizations are having to step up their efforts. It was all fascinating until—and I can’t remember the question or the context—Sharon said something like, “I haven’t watched any programs that depict murder for about 10 years, and it’s made a difference.” She explained that believing in human dignity must include valuing human life.

And that was my awakening. Who knows what you think I watch. Other than the airplane movies I report on and good sci-fi (limited selection)—I like thrillers. I’ve read all of Tony Hillerman’s detective novels set on the Navajo Nation. I’ve seen the Mission Impossible movies and the Apple TV series Slow Horses. Lots more. My saving grace has been VidAngel. The link includes its history and transition to a limited streaming service. “The company provides customizable filters for removing scenes containing profanity, nudity, sexual situations, or graphic violence.”

I have good reasons for not watching the named offenders. Weekly, I work in a place where sacred ordinances are performed, having the authority to do so. I can participate as a proxy. The sacred and profane cannot be mixed. That which is holy will simply walk away. VidAngel, or so I thought, let me watch content that would otherwise be offensive and cause the walking.

Sharon Eubank didn’t say I “should” do what she does, but I know she’s right. The Oxford Learner’s Dictionary defines hypocrisy this way: “behaviour that does not meet the moral standards or match the opinions that somebody claims to have.” Check. The etymology offers an interesting twist: built on Greek roots for acting, it means to play a part. More simply, to be fake.

Someone I know living in Europe offered relevant commentary. He said American violence in film puzzles European viewers. The parallel is Americans watching pornography. There’s discomfort, for most. We don’t have (many) public displays of nudity; they don’t express themselves with violence, usually.

The Latin word excelsior comes to mind. It just means “higher” but has many other uses, some quite fascinating. But I believe it’s where I must go. It shouldn’t be with sadness but with gratitude. Once you know you’ve been a fake, there is really just one higher choice: Don’t.

Sunday, September 21, was International Day of Peace. There is not a proclamation per se, but you can read ideas from the UN here. I attended a Peace Festival on Saturday, marked by children and youth mostly, with singing, dances, and poems. An enthusiastic audience supported every group. The root of “peace” is pag, which means “fasten.” Applause and appreciation unite us with a shared response that is hard to resist.

The irony is double. First, we truly are bound together by the space we occupy. My brief lyric is, again, below. We cannot escape it. Yet, we don’t agree with each other on multiple topics, even the ones that should be obvious—peace, love, family, truth.

Second, those who seek to destroy our peace are not typically those who surround us, even in disagreement. They will come for us regardless of our desire for peace. Examples available on request. Rather than our pursuing peace, then, we must be peace.

The same is true for kindness—almost. As I will discuss more closer to the time, Dallas Kindness Week happens November 9-15. The 15^th is a culmination festival, filled with performers, booths, food trucks, face painting, and much more. We will feel the uniting goals.

If in your group, your silo, your tribe you say mean and hateful things about people with whom you disagree, then you are not kind and need a sticker or button to remind you that the vast majority of people are not evil. You can say they are, give examples on request, but their actions are limited to speech. Guess what? They are doing the same thing to you.

Running late, and it probably shows, but I want to make the point as plain as possible. You are probably kind. If you aren’t, it doesn’t show. Take the Kindness Pledge anyway. If you are kind and know someone who isn’t, send it to them, too. You can include them in a broader share perhaps.

Listening to a young woman from the Anti-Defamation League, I realized I want the really unkind people to hear the message. I don’t know how to find the fringes, but I intend to look. And send a sticker or 50 so they can’t say they don’t know…

Kindness Week Pledge

I choose kindness.
I will notice who needs a smile.
I will listen with respect.
I will connect with compassion.
I will help when I can, even in small ways.
I will treat others the way I want to be treated.
And I will remember:

Kindness is a decision.
Kindness is strength.
Kindness is action.
Kindness starts with me.

 

Bless the Space Between Us

Bless the space between us

That there may be hope within us.

Bless the space between us—

Fill our hearts with peace.

 

Bless the space between us

That there may be love within us.

Bless the space between us—

Fill our hearts with peace.

 

Bless the space between us

That it shall disappear.

Let us seek now and always

The path to peace, to peace.

©Mary Ann Taylor

©2024

In 2015, I wrote an op-ed for The Dallas Morning News with this conclusion:

“So, as we try to make sense of the world, we must accept that there are some bad things in it, and some bad people who do horrible things without good reason. Some people just want to kill others, as simple as that sounds. Hate is a real, visceral human emotion. As such, it does have a purpose: Honorable, upstanding people should hate—injustice, for example. We need to stop giving the bad guys a legitimate cause for the unspeakable and call them what they are: wrong.”

Reading it again, I see that it’s held up. These days, though, hate has taken a different turn, reflecting more the opening scene of the piece in which a younger child talked to my grandchild about loving to hate. Rather than a childish paradox, I am now seeing it as a source of pleasure.

Tom Lehrer, a satirist popular in the 1950s and ‘60s, just died in July at age 97. His relevant offering is “National Brotherhood Week.” Everyone is hating everyone, but the lyrics get one line wrong for our day: “You can tolerate him if you try.” Not so much—nobody is trying tolerance currently. (National Brotherhood Week is a real thing, by the way, established in 1934 and promoted through and after the war. This video shows Hollywood A-listers supporting the effort against hate, which had just destroyed Europe. But finding this crowd would be hard these days.)

What is a hobby? The word comes from an old toy, the hobbyhorse. Similar to a rocking horse, it is associated with free time because it doesn’t go anywhere, per the definition.

But hate? Picture screamers from either side rocking, roaring merrily along, imaginary lassos hurled at imaginary calves. Here are a few of their shared shortcomings:

• Loaded vocabularies: Words like woke, elites, Marxist, groomer, traitor, snowflake OR fascist, sexist, homophobe, white supremacist, oligarchy/billionaire class, oppressor.
• Willingness to post unverified lists, quotations, reports: Kamala Harris did not say she doesn’t care about the Constitution or “Trumpers” would beg her for a loaf of bread. And Donald Trump did not say (even sourced from People in 1998) that Republicans are the dumbest voters. I won’t link inflammatory lists shared about immigrants (too ridiculous) or the Steele dossier (too complicated.
• Unwillingness to negative data about your side: Obama’s worst scandal was wearing a tan suit. Trump can do no wrong. No, to both.
• Describing the opposition as an enemy.
• Ending relationships because of another’s political beliefs.
• Repeating what news channels are reporting without a filter.
• Delighting in pain on the other side. Making folk heroes out of murderers is wrong; there is no “yes, but…” Insisting on firing people for minor offenses, also wrong.

Hating is easier, of course. Turning the other cheek and loving your enemy are extremely hard. But they are, in fact, commandments.

Lately (and perhaps that’s part of the issue), I’ve been saying “used to…” often. I’ve told people I’m going to copyright it. That’s not possible, really, though with some legal maneuvering, I might be able to trademark it. Here are the distinguishing factors.

It’s not that I don’t get that things change. Some for the better, of course. But I’m just in from taking a grandchild to Mount Pleasant to get a Texas ID. That’s two hours away. Said child had original birth certificate and Social Security card. A school ID. But we had to scramble to prove he lives in Texas. Possible, but it took some doing. The possible sources are here.

“Used to,” did we just stroll in? Apparently, the “new” procedure of getting an appointment—which can be months away—isn’t new. While almost anyone can get an ID, it does take some effort. I know we left with a driver license in the past. (And that non-posessive “driver” is irritating, though correct.) My late husband got his first one when he was 14.

So, among the things we “used to” do:

• Read the newspaper, sometimes morning and evening.
• Watched the local news at 6 and at 10.
• Used watches instead of phones.
• Paid for long-distance calls
• Sent and received cards and letters.
• Bought records, then tapes, then CDs.
• Had milk, juice, and most dairy products delivered AND placed into the refrigerator by a milkman.
• Read books printed on paper.
• Watched TV when the program was on. And there were programs to watch.

The list could go on. The better one, though, would be the good things:

• Long-distance calling, even internationally, is essentially free or part of an expected fee.
• Music of all genres, old and new, is available within seconds, and often free.
• Out-of-copyright written materials are often available, and the classics certainly are.
• People are generally healthier and better off in most ways than they were 50, 100 years ago.

Your lists will be more interesting. Share?

It was startling, really. A colleague and I had arrived unexpectedly at a place where I’d sent several emails asking to, well, arrive. With no response, we decided to “drop in.” The person to whom I’d been writing wasn’t in, but an assistant, Nate, was glad to see us, glad enough to do it anyway.

I “launched off” into the introduction of the project—its history, local background, importance, and purpose. Nate excused himself to close the door of a small refrigerator someone had left open. I thought that showed leadership.

When he returned, he said, “What’s the ask?” So, startled, I could only respond that there wasn’t one:We were giving an invitation. It’s not a phrase I’m used to hearing, but on reflection, I decided it was central.

The truth is, of course, there is always an ask. Money is first, and yes, I was feeling like a bad salesman. Taking a loaf of freshly baked bread helped with that response, and people love to receive that gift. Nothing can lessen the impact of what is, essentially, “What do you want?”

Phrasing is important and requires thought. I know someone who says, with a radiant smile, “Have we met?” Recognition does set in, but how much more gracious is that than “Do I know you?”

The only vaguely original phrase I’ve used is “I wonder…” Rather than putting myself into the conversation with an opinion, it takes me out while letting the information in.

Evaluating these three comments, I think I’ll add the lesson: “Leave you of it.” How much more different that is than “Leave me out of it.” In general, one should take care when using the word “you” anyway. It’s not that “I” is bad. Just perhaps not as gracious.

Questions shed light, I’ve learned, and this is, literally, the bottom line. Hence the photo.