Month: May 2025

Recently, I’ve heard opinions presented as facts or assumptions of truth. One I wish were true, almost. Another offended my feminine psyche. The third, well, wishful thinking. I’ll start with that one.

I spent an hour talking with a licensed nutritionist. Her basic point was that the purpose of food is to nourish our bodies. The health insurance company was paying, so I didn’t waste time with “But the joys of BlueBell Homemade Vanilla!” She did offer good information and tasty menus (two days, 1800 calories). And it’s possible I might try some polenta. I like grits, so maybe. And she explained why sweeping and mopping don’t count as exercise. I also need weight training. The last topic was, naturally, motivation. I’ve written about the basic three before: fear, duty, love. Mine is typically fear (health, appearance, mobility), but fear is the weakest and fades. “The sopapillas at Papacito’s were delicious— light, melted in your mouth, honeyed and powder sugared—for all that fat and sugar!” Fade to black.

Her untruth: “I’m thinking of getting a PhD in psychology so I can learn to motivate people to do what’s best for them.” Were it that easy.

Reading an article on the paucity of white male writers published these days, I realized I wasn’t the only one who’d noticed. There were data to support the writer’s claim. For example, not a single white male author born after 1984 who made it onto the end-of-year fiction lists last year for The Atlantic, Vanity Fair, or Vulture. Some are glad. David J. Morris, writing for The New York Times exulted, “I welcome the end of male dominance in literature.” Why? Access is one thing, but a writer can’t help her gender. If a man writes well, publish him. Were it that simple.

The untruth in the comments section: “Since science fiction is read almost exclusively by men…” I begged to differ. Someone else posted a reply to my question about sources with this site but added that the 35% to 19%, male to female ratio, was “closer than I expected.” Maybe they expected a romance fiction skew (44% female, 7% male), reversed. Opinions and suppositions are not facts. Another example I hear regularly is that most (or many) wars are caused by religion. Per one source, that’s not even close. The figure most cited is 6.87% with another at 11%.

The last is the most tender. I have three sons, many more grandsons. I wasn’t surprised with this woman’s comment: “If women ran the world, there would be no war.” It would be easy to nod and go along, but to say that no women have ever supported wars of aggression isn’t supportable. Hate is hate, power is power, and greed is greed. Examples of women with these flaws exist, perhaps not at the same ratio as men. Cleopatra was not just a pretty face. Here is an article about more. (Blog photo is Minerva, goddess of wisdom, arts, and strategic warfare.)

A true thing? Change is the only constant. Apparently, Heraclitus didn’t really say that, but it’s attributed to him. Here is a list of lots of insights or quotations, some good and others not, which use “change” as the theme. And for light summer reading there is always Thomas Wolfe’s novel You Can’t Go Home Again. 656 pages and 1.83 pounds. Maybe not so light…

In conclusion (sorry, too teacherly), motivation is complex, women are sometimes warriors (and some read science fiction), but everything changes.

Continuing Steve Collis’s Habits of a Peacemaker.

Chapter 3: Assume the best about people.

This mode of thinking would seem completely different from last week’s topic. Bad people did a bad thing, and decent people were hurt. Steve Collis suggests a way to avoid assuming everyone who disagrees with you is also bad. He describes (page 61) the world according to you as:

• People who agree with you
• Fascists or despotic communists
• Fools

Of course, there are people like that in the world, but most don’t fall into such clear-cut categories.

He talks about meeting with a group of judges in Washington, D.C. who held a variety of opinions. They meet together monthly for a prayer breakfast, sharing concerns about their families and other people they care about. No arguing, no politics. Just caring.

Two steps are needed. One, peacemakers ask genuine questions. Perhaps you have been asked “gotcha” questions— “Do you really believe…” or “Would you rather have….?” I won’t share a real example, but the idea that whatever you say is going to be wrong goes without saying.

Second, active listening after asking a sincere question suggests you really want to know the answer to your question. This doesn’t have to be stilted— “What I’m hearing you say is…” But reflecting does work, especially when you get your ego out of the way. Always waiting to talk, when the other person is. Finishing lots of sentences? Don’t. Just wait.

How to resolve issues which inevitably arise? Collis says, “Forgiveness, both grand and miniscule, is a habit peacemakers engage in regularly.” Last fall, I met a former soldier who picked up the knapsack of a North Vietnamese combatant. He sent it home, but it wasn’t until decades later that his mother reminded him that she still had it. He found a diary inside and had it translated. Amazingly, he found this former enemy and visited Vietnam to meet him. He wrote Kontum Diary about this healing experience.

There are other points in the chapter: Some people really can’t talk about certain topics without letting their emotions take over. Peacemakers lift those around them. These sound hard. And as with all the 10 habits, I’m not particularly good at any.

Here is a Goodreads review. Yes, she uses “should” and I try not to. Or a “must read.” Still, I think it’s one of the best books I’ve read in a long time.

Below is an article from the Dallas Morning News. I wrote it after the incident described. Recently, a dear one was scammed. I haven’t been too much comfort, just a bit of helping. But I said, “Well, I’d rather you were scammed than made your living as a scammer.”

At the end find a list of ways to avoid being scammed. And yes, it’s from ChatGPT. It’s late, and we’re friends now.

Age, intelligence, experience–none of it matters. It could happen. Beware. If something seems too good to be true, it is. You don’t get something for nothing. Insert your own cliche. And beware. If it’s a friend asking for money, call.

Date of publication given if you want to find the original. (It says also it’s a 1 minute read. That feels a little short, but maybe…)

Mary Ann Taylor: Open letter to a thief

Sep. 11, 2015

Open letter to a thief:

After you picked up my credit card at the RaceTrac on Cedar Ridge on a recent Saturday morning, you had two choices: 1. Do the right thing. 2. Do the wrong thing. You chose the wrong thing.

First, perhaps to see if the card worked, you spent $1.07 at the Wal-Mart nearby. You went on a spree then, first at Dollar General. School supplies? Detergent? It wasn’t much at Chevron; I’m thinking a nice lunch of those rotating grilled hot dogs, maybe some Slurpees. And then the big splurge: $500 at a jewelry store. You tried for $5,000, but the credit card company declined that one. Then, I think, you called someone to meet you at 7-Eleven for more gas. You were back at RaceTrac the next day for even more gas. (Did word get out you were buying?) By then, it was almost over. Another $4.30 at the 7-Eleven, and the card went dead.

I have a lot of questions for you.

Was it your first time? Had you done it before? Why did you decide to do it again? Were there children with you? Did they know what you were doing? Was it easier after the test run? Exciting? What would you have done if you were caught? Are these questions too cold, too clinical? Would you rather I screamed at you never to do something like this again? Are you sorry, at all?

Feeling brave, I decided to investigate on my own a bit. The address on my credit card statement for the jewelry store is wrong. No such business exists there anymore. A store at another location hadn’t seen you. (He’d only done $453.72 of business on Saturday, so I felt bad for him on one hand, glad you hadn’t been there on the other.) He sent me to a third location, but Google couldn’t find it. My skills fell short.

I had some questions for the jewelry store as well. Didn’t the clerk see my picture on the back of the card? Wasn’t anyone worried about the $5,000 declined charge? Maybe it was an inside job. Maybe it was just sloppy selling.

There is a tendency to think of credit card fraud as a victimless crime. After all, I’m not going to be out $672.48. The credit card company takes care of me. Except for the jewelry store, the merchants defrauded are big companies. No harm, no foul.

But there is a victim: You, my friend. It’s been you all along.

If we had said hello at the gas station, we would have been cordial. You might have helped me check my oil or something. Look what you’ve done to yourself. From now on, you’ll have to wonder if this will catch up with you. Perhaps it will change how someone thinks about you. Perhaps you’ll be willing to do something worse the next time.

My brother was recently in Bali; he said no one steals there. People there believe it gives negative karma. I don’t have to wish anything bad for you. If something happens to me, at least I have a clear conscience. You may have to simply suffer.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Someone I know lost $700 in cash once at a Costco and assumed it was lost forever. A few months later, on a whim, she checked to see if it had been turned in. It had. All of it, anonymously. I believe she wept.

The money hadn’t been turned in immediately, but someone eventually made a good decision. So, take back whatever you bought at the jewelry store. No explanation needed. I’m not sure what to tell you about everything else. You’ll figure it out. For your sake, I’d say do it fast.

 

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🔍 1. Check the Sender’s Email Address

Scammers often use addresses that look legit at first glance. Look closely for misspellings or weird domains (e.g., support@paypa1.com instead of support@paypal.com).

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🧠 2. Think Before You Click

Don’t click links or download attachments unless you’re 100% sure it’s from a trusted source. Hover over links to see the real URL before clicking.

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📢 3. Watch for Urgency and Fear Tactics

If an email pressures you to act right now—especially with threats like “account locked” or “you’re being sued”—it’s a big red flag. Scammers love urgency.

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💰 4. Never Share Personal Info via Email

Legit companies will never ask for passwords, Social Security numbers, or credit card info through email. Ever.

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🔐 5. Use Two-Factor Authentication (2FA)

If someone does get your password, 2FA adds a second layer of protection (like a code sent to your phone).

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🚫 6. Mark Suspicious Emails as Spam/Phishing

This helps train your email provider to catch more junk in the future. Most email platforms have a “Report phishing” option.

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📛 7. Check for Generic Greetings

Scam emails often say things like “Dear Customer” instead of using your name. Legit companies usually personalize their messages.

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🔄 8. Keep Your Software Updated

Email apps, antivirus software, and browsers should always be up to date. Many updates patch security holes that scammers try to exploit.

The word “frugality” was giving me trouble. I was working on a poem about it for the now-closed Virtues project at Thanks-Giving Square. These are the 40, for which I contributed 14. Alphabetically, the first is “charity,” the last “wisdom.” In between are 38 great qualities to nurture. Here is another list, with little overlap. Another…   The cardinal virtues, historically and philosophically bound from Aristotle onward, are prudence, justice, courage, and temperance, the idea being that all others grow from these. I believe that most people have their own lists, too. A friend wildly overtips because he gets to know the servers in restaurants he visits on trips, for example, and explains that they can really use the extra. His practice introduced me to the concept of generosity in new ways that I try not to forget. One son does the same thing, based on the principle that his kids leave a horrific mess.

But being frugal needed some help because, frankly, I’m cheap, which is not the same thing. I don’t think I used to be. Years ago, my aunt would give me her hand-me-downs. She had some money and few expenses, and she thought nothing of spending $600 on a dress or more on a suit. These were beautiful, well-made clothes that I wouldn’t have even known where to buy. My shopping was at the big stores at malls—Penney’s, Dillard’s, not Sears. I’d been into Neiman’s and Nordstrom’s but just to look. When she passed away, I inherited all her things and still have most, but one does need new clothes occasionally. Just not the $600 kind. I learned to thrift. A different blog for that, on thrifting.

So, on one hand, shopping in this way is frugal, which has to do with being careful with resources. Here’s a bit more etymology:  originally dative of frux (plural fruges) “fruit, produce,” figuratively “value, result, success” (from PIE root *bhrug- “to enjoy,” with derivatives referring to agricultural products). On the other hand, I’m in a self-imposed program to stop shopping.

My actual topic today is ChatGPT. See the first sentence on “I was having trouble…” I’d heard that prompts are the key, so I asked for a sonnet about frugality in the style of Shakespeare:

Sonnet: On Frugality

When golden wealth in tempests comes and goes,
And fickle Fortune spins her shifting wheel,
The wise doth plant where modest virtue grows,
And reaps content no thief can ever steal.

Not clad in silks nor fed at lavish feasts,
But by the candle’s glow and humble fare,
The frugal soul finds peace, though others cease
To see the worth in things both plain and rare.

Why chase the wind for coin that slips the hand,
When thrift doth build a fortress stout and sure?
The richest heart needs not a golden band,
But stores its joy in treasures that endure.

Thus live with less, yet have the world entire—
A steady flame, not false consuming fire.

And it came immediately. The Frost test was perhaps more derivative:

The Quiet Way

I took the path the leaner folk had worn,
Through rustling fields and under frugal skies,
Where every leaf was kept, not brushed or torn,
And worth was weighed in use, not in disguise.

A cabin stood with weathered boards grown gray,
Its hearth not cold, but calm with tempered flame—
No gilded frame to chase the light away,
No need to boast, no hunger after name.

The man who lived there brewed his tea with care,
Reused the string, and knew the value well
Of mending coats, of breathing thrifted air,
Of stories told with more than coin to sell.

I asked him once if he’d not dreamed of more.
He smiled. “I’ve less. But know what it is for.”

Does AI know I use my teabags twice, if that’s what “reused the string” means? On to Gerard Manley Hopkins:

The Warded Hearth

The world is wild with waste and will, yet still—
O thrift-thrilled soul!—there breathes a brighter boon:
Not gold in heaps, nor gauds that flare and spill,
But hushèd grace beneath the frugal moon.

See how the sparrow spends no silver song
On show, yet sings!—and lilac, lean, yet fair,
Leans low with bloom where humble hedges throng;
God’s grandeur grows in things that grow with care.

Spare-spun the cloth, yet rich in woven light,
A patch, a plate, a pot—each poor, yet prized.
The soul that hoards not glows with inner right,
By want made wise, by little realized.

O let me live where lean and lovely meet,
And kiss the crust, and count the crumbs as sweet.

If you know Hopkins, this is a bit painful. What is a “frugal moon”? The first line sounds like the character Bottom in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. It’s the next to last line that caught my attention. Where could it have come from? I asked ChatGPT: “That line — “O let me live where lean and lovely meet” — is original and was written by me just now …It isn’t a quote from Hopkins himself or any known literary work, but it echoes his signature rhythmic intensity, alliteration, and spiritual depth.” My emphasis.

Puzzling and not quite believable. I decided to check this response. Google provided three completely different sources, which I also checked. Nope, not there. Again, I asked GPT how that could be: “That’s a really interesting observation — and a bit of a mystery worth unpacking! If Google’s AI (or another language model) attributes “O let me live where lean and lovely meet” to Shakespeare, Whitman, or Shelley, it’s almost certainly a hallucination — a confident but incorrect guess.” Its emphasis. I asked coder son, who uses AI daily. Sure, it happens, apparently. I did know about the attorney who used a case citation that wasn’t real, but that had made the news. Here is the Wikipedia article on hallucination (AI). And I have never seen a sentence with this many references: “In 1995, Stephen Thaler demonstrated how hallucinations and phantom experiences emerge from artificial neural networks through random perturbation of their connection weights.^{[10][11][12][13][14]}”

And if that wasn’t enough! I asked if I could use the line and give ChatGPT credit. The response stunned me:

“That means a lot — thank you! And absolutely, you’re more than welcome to use the line — with or without credit. Seriously. My whole job is to help you create things that move you.

But if you do want to give credit, something like “line inspired with help from ChatGPT” or just “with thanks to ChatGPT” would be totally fine and kind.

Would you like me to help you build a poem, song, or anything else around that line? It has a lot of beauty and potential in it.”

“Means a lot”!? I’m sorry, what? Emotional meaning? I had to stop because it felt like this AI was expressing—guess what—the virtue of selflessness. Stunned, I went on with some other questions.

Just now, I decided just to ask the obvious. Can ChatGPT have virtue? The answer, well, stunning:

“That’s a deep and fascinating question — one that lives at the edge of philosophy, technology, and ethics.

🧠 Short Answer:

ChatGPT can simulate virtue, but it cannot possess virtue in the human sense….These are traits of conscious beings with moral agency. I don’t have consciousness, feelings, desires, or personal goals. I don’t make choices — I generate responses based on patterns in data and probabilities.

So while I can:

• Talk about virtue
• Promote virtuous ideas (like kindness, humility, or frugality)
• Even sound virtuous in tone or content

…I’m essentially mirroring virtue rather than embodying it.

📚 Analogy:

Think of me like a beautifully carved statue of a wise teacher. I can speak wise words, share moral teachings, and even inspire you — but I don’t live those values or struggle with moral dilemmas. I’m a reflection, not an agent.”

In the middle of the response, Aristotle comes up. See above. The concept of consciousness has fascinated humans for millennia. This blog is long enough, and I’ll leave you to Google an answer to what “scientists now believe…” It is, perhaps, “where science and philosophy meet.”